The Deposit

Princess Jasmine and I have had a bit of a falling out. Truth be told, I've gone right off her.

At approximately three o'clock this morning, my foot collided with a steaming pile of present, personally delivered by HRH.


Now, I know what you're thinking - 'Ah, poor little thing. Probably didn't know what to do or where to go' - that furry little beggar is the most vocal creature I have ever come across, and howls like a banshee at my window when she wants to come in. But when she wants to go out? A truly deafening silence.

My second point of contention is her choice of depositing spot - the mat directly below the toilet. One would have to be a gymnast to miss it - especially in the dead of night. I did not miss it. I, infact, was right on target.

I could almost hear her cackling as I rather unceremoniously shut her out in the garden, and began to load the washing machine with soiled goods.

I have had better mornings.